Premature ejaculation is a difficult thing to diagnose, and it’s a term I’m wary of, because it’s hugely subjective. But “longer” is a relative term, and I’m wondering what your definition of that is – and what your definition of “premature ejaculation” is, to boot. Often, when you’ve been with someone a while and you both become more comfortable and familiar with each other’s bodies and your own sexual responses, sex can last longer. Many men (and people with penises: trans women and nonbinary people can have penises, too, although I’ll refer to men here, as your partner is man) finish quickly the first few times they have sex with a new person – understandably! Sex with a new person is exciting and nerve-racking and a host of other feelings and sensations that might make them orgasm quickly.
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You’ve only been having sex for a month so are still in that novel, crazily charged and excited stage of your attraction to each other, which can affect performance. I do have advice, although it may not be the type you were hoping for, because I’m not convinced your partner has a problem.
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I don’t know how to bring it up or how to deal with this problem.
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He’s generous in bed when it comes to paying me attention and performing oral sex, but he really does not last long – a few minutes at most. I really like him, but I’m a bit worried he suffers from premature ejaculation. We’ve been together two months and have been having sex for a month. Dear Roe – I’m a 31- year- old woman, and I’ve just started a new relationship with a man.